i miss my doggie gigi

I was late for work today cos i guess i overslept , finally survived 3 days of work , another two more days to rest . Been pinning for a good rest . Got my "ai xin breakfast " haha , thank hor !!! nice nice and i brought my apple to work , growing healthier , eating all the balanced meal , probably affected by jo bibi , cos that's why . But somehow I had lesser craving for choco , can't imagine i lost touch with my choco for like .... 2 weeks ... cos it is fattening , but choco combat depression to date . haha , i realised i wanan to enjoy life and stay happy , heya i am a strong girl , wun see me anywhere in tears , not to worry .

I need my motivation i can;t find my zeal , maybe i am deceiving myself , just trying to be someone not myself , i detest this . I dun wanan to be a fragile person .... but i had been one . sheding a tear or two dispel those unhappiness .... so must stay positive . most of all i miss my doggie , i miss a fren , hopefully next time my partner or hubby will be an animal lover haha , my fav is still westie :P or from e terrier grp . St.bernard is rather kawaii but it will cost $3k and high maintainence , can;t really afford to think abt dog ,lawerence just got a golden retriever pup , really anxious to see it !!! faster house warming ... he say in jan..06 haha

I am going to receive my lst pink bomb from lawerence , the first fren;s wedding i ever attend was rather excited but it fall on 16 dec , bro's b day + sch briefing n etc ... so many thing to finalise .

sat going to zouk haha ... anticpating abt the partying with wing, lp, jen , carol n etc .. haha.... was discussing with lawerence abt alchol , he keep saying his wedding dinner put me n the rest with his drinking buddy , wish me good luck !:=== this fellow ...no comment liao . Friday going to meet adri , still deciding btw harry potter or chicken little .... arrange to meet him around town area m wah this fellow very cute , go sitex all the way to browse IT product , come my sony counter .... then ask me wanan to go dinner . study hard hor , good luck for tml test !!! rest assured i wun dare to call u during exam , best switch off your handphone okie .... if u read this .!

I realised i had gone though many changes in this stage of my life , am still coping with it . wish brian were here .but too bad , can;t say much .brian u must take care! anyway ...halo peepx ... take care ...

lp ar ... PLEASE GO SEE A DOCTOR N THE DENTAL OKIE , TAKE A BREAK , TAKE A KITKAT !!!

extract from my dairy ,...

lovereis

what am i doing ?

Was rather tired for the whole of this week , feeling fatigue + stressed by my education loan .

a normal day to office , finally able to accompany lp to work , haha . she gave me a tasty raisin bun ....was rather delicious and nice ! thank gal . hope u gambatte okie ! I realised i had been snacking alot today. suddenly like to eat veggie n it was a healthy diet :>fee like reaching the breaking down point , hopefully someone will encourage me to go on .

Work ended pacefully today , and i dunno why i actually go westmall n accompany Zep for dinner , dun feel like going home , he was rather funny, keep chatting throughout the dinner abt his portfolio , projects and other roadshow while i keep grumbling on my work ...., rather comfortable chatting like old frens sia . haha ... he ask me to go watch movie on sat .... his work really slacked ...omg ...anyway after that he walked me to the bus stop and home sweet home liao .

haha, on the way home called lp, got a party to attend on sat :> anticpating that .....


clara ... gambatte ... i am still me .

lovereis ...overwhelm by fatigue n still surviving ....

picture taken by lawerence , the present me

Deadbeat ....what sortta of training ?

I felt I am tired , saw the old bunch of sony oldie ... azman , derrick , fabius, dennis , cindy, darren and of course "little clara " ... me . went for the training for at IBP ... very tiring reach home about 10 pm+++ so tiring ... deadbeat ... can someone lend me a shoulder to lean on ?

Was taken aback with the recent happenings ... over at sony

new products , must memorise ... N1 , M2 and 602E and i can't remember much , was told to demo using the psp thing ...my psp skill is still there ....mpeg4 here i come ... though getting clumsy , suddenly embracing sony again ... that's life . gotten my SITEX pass finally !

Yox. peepz i guess i will survived ... skipped dinner again ... can't remember when is that ?

now i am having the "xue bing " cum choco lawerence give me + my green tea = dinner ...?

little clara must ... take care ... cos my da jie big clara wasn't in SITEX ... miss her


lovereis ...

it is already past midnight ...

and i am still here blogging , aren't u surprised, peepz?

cos I realise dun make a mistake in a moment of folly ...

treasure ppl around u , cherish them , love them

For a day , I was a listener to her

tiredness overwhelmed me ... to think influctuation is hard to resist ...

take care everyone once and for all , i know what i am embarking on a path i chosen

I realise inflinging pain on someone is unpardonable and i am not capable of ...

for a night like this , it is still loneliness that accompanied me throughout ...

but i am all along just reverting , reflection the mirror ....a dual side of myself .

cos it is just not easy in contradictions .

no longer can differ those parellel lines


lovereis ...

Christmas Wish list ....

Was really happy the morning , my mood swing vari probably i am sick ... the flu ruined my mood but was glad cos manage to chat with dearie for the longest .... 3hours 40mins ... in btw he is doing his report ... while I was feeling his breathing sound haha .... okie , feel so close :> ( do i sound really sick to the core haha ) extract ...hearing his voice , chatting with him make me really forget everything , i wish the moment stay ... for the longest ...

forget abt being LD , now proceed something to be glad for anyone ... my wish list for X'mas :>

Wish !
1. hope my family will be healthy and happy ever after
2. my panda eyes will be gone
3. True love can survived all ordeals :> mr . bri....our miracle


Materialistic wish
1. Sakura Greentea - if anyone manage to get it from japan
2. T'ESTIMO Glitter Fluid Rouge in RS-227 / Maquillage Diamond Tear Gloss
3. Sony Ericission k750i ....black
5. Chocolate :P prefer dark choco meiji... meltykiss :P
6. Kyoko fukada ..... latest dvd
7. Air-ticket to london .... newcastle ....:P got sponser ?
8. Adidas jisho/Rekords edition trainers ... local size 6 -------pink white :P



My last self contented wish to hope everyone is happy n enjoying every moment of life , dun give up , there is always sunshine after rain ..... :>

I felt so xin ku .....

I feel so sick .

can't hear who is talking to me

can't concentrate

feel like hiding

no one understands ... seriously

lovereis

Raining = currently feeling

i feel like downpour tonight .... i been sick with flu , that is like the worst sneezing all the way from work till home and not to mentioned i feel so weak n careless with the thing i do today , i realised how incompetance i am . no one really understand in reality , there is only dad's flu herbal tea to calm me down or smooth my sickness ... thank dad .when i reach home , had my dinner , it was just there in my room , can't imagine ... i thought no one cared for me ,but there is still my dad .... i dun understand .y am i holding on , i am just tired of everything i do. for once i realised a fren cared for me too much that i am afraid i may disappoint our frenship .

I miss my dear :>

Cousin wen come to my house yesterday , coming to help my bro fix his computer ....

The bad thing is i was on my mask ... trying to wait for it to dry up and wash ...\

I hear footsteps coming .... gosh just run for the toilet ...

out i come presentable , but seriously he already seen the more "ugly " sides of me ...

so what is the big deal!!!


I ended up laughing with him haha ....cute da ge of mine

Last night I tried the haka yong tau foo at the republic food mkt , it was a great dinner with the concoct of dessert from jennifer cum wing dar dar haha .... :P , great but when lp give me , it was already blend but was touched ,haha they remember mouse !

I was rather upset cos i was unable to chat with dear dear cos bro had to reformat his pc ... close out network connection , was rather depressing the whole day and fatti ping bring me to eat ice-cream ... choco mint + mango sorbet my favorite :P simply just two gals sitting there and we chatted ... i found she really hate her job , and i regret encouraging her to go for it....despite thinking about it ... i hope she will GANBATTE !!! , lp anything can stll pour on my head de .

Erm , last night finally get to chat with dear dear :P so glad ... everything is going alright for him . I realise really loved him , now I felt no doubts on my part ...it is seriously not complicated ... i still see him waiting for me at the finishing line. :>, can't wait to see him :P love

Fated kylie n yen .... :P smuck ***

I felt tired , so deadbeat was tired from doing OT from the e-gains , actually I like e-gains cos it is quite fun but only thing dreads will the million of form 3 waiting for me to updates? Jo bibi lost his ID card , he is really sad gotten said and I really wanan to cheer him up !!! hey jo bibi , GANBATTE OKIE , you r very good liao !!! Was late meeting kylie and she lost the ring which her beloved mum had left for her , the last precious thing her mum had left for her . She was so frantic , sad and crazy looking for that , i knew it meant alot to her , help her search and in the end she almost break down . finally found it , this ger left it in her bag ... kylie ar ... u must take good care of that ring !!! she say " shi er fu de ... feeling is very good " . I really felt she is one strong girl who feared nothing . Yen ! this very artist fren of mine today changed style , i dunno when but she wore a real sexy top that I would never ever seen her in , and a smart button shirt , look cool ar ? rather attractive ... she should adopt this kind of dressing more often .... and on one hand was her designer ... board ... too big n heavy ... sound like she got the future architect look er ... :"> suddenly i felt so small btw them , their world changed ... me too but just probably my thoughts or perception evolved ..... around my inner self .

I loved yen and kylie , our frenship was something i really treasured , I am glad they are living well and doing good , just one more person , jessie ? she had vanished from out frenship . fun chilling out was great , 3 of us just holding to one another arm in arm ...just walk from orchard front to the end and finally home ...... :> it was a great feeling to be hold on , to be hugged once by kylie ... :P sweetie girl .... and plus her sweetie mr. aloysius , i wonders when would i get the chance to meet the virgo guy who touched her icy heart :> must be kind of cool ... they are the virgo couples !!! and yen said she envy ky;s new r/ship which i felt yes true !! me too . she is so sweet making chicken soup for her dearie and this mr. da nan ren said she will make a good wife ... erm i think i be getting the "red bomb" from her first !!! soon haha
really tired , kylie ar ... sleep early ! :> yen said she will get a guy with a name start with letter"C" , so we got guy Aloy , guy bri , guy "C" ? haha wonders who is the lucky guy for her :> kylie said yen like to "roar ", she did it again just now , omg , she is really li hai de !!!

Peace prevail

had a bad hair day ?

Someone meddle in the exchange of duties in e office , who else , miss workaholic A5

beyond redemption and what happens ?

more unhappiness ... was feeling the whole day was a disaster ,but finally my two guardian angel help me .... 4D family .... really thank kevin n evangel to help me cleared up the misunderstanding , really glad .you know ?

I think these few days had really been the worst for me , esp worklife , n love life ... i am at a loss ... but thank to all fren who listened to my problems ... esp chang yao , liping , peiwei, evangel , kevin , jo bibi and anyone i could think of....

finally thrash thing out with amanda , it was actually misunderstanding cos A5 is the root of the problems , thank to her ... purposely , pls reflect on yourself ? dun u realise u r making a big fuss ... rigid , inflexible , childish gal , u really deserved the loner title , u drive your friends away ..... one by one just left u and u never reflect , the leopard never change it spots ...


Peace for me at last , my misunderstanding was cleared and dearie was really considerate to listen .....thank u bri . feel that he is really a nice nice guy :>always there for me , hey where do u find such a dearie haha!!!, really glad ... pinning for tml .... bakerINN :> with kylie , yen . :)

Zzzzz too much ?

Woked up really early today , how long have I slept , imagine sleeping at 8pm ++ and woke up in the middle of the night about 2 am and surf the net for a while and continue my Zzzz till 5.30am how long had i slept ... ? probably a full 8 hours . How time have lapsed , saw lp sms me at 12am and saw the msg twice ringing in my mind . what is so wrong with u ...?

for once to lp , ger please sleep early and rest more , don't OT so late .

Received a sms from cat to meet me after work , but I keep thinking ...
to go or not to go ?
last min , i tried to ask pw n lp to join us
I seriously can't remember when had cat n me become so distant
or am i thinking too much on what should i say to her as a fren

there must be something wrong , my fren sensed it , but when pw called me ,I can;t answer her ......

hmm , these few days was a "monsoon" to me ... i can't imagine why had my life become like this , just went online to apply for a weekend job , hopefully I can get this job , more $$ cos suddenly am thinking of building a desktop for a future use .

I think last night or when , I did something wrong , sorry about it . I am not myself recently , the basic piseces instinct to isolate from the world for a while for once . I am truly sorry . :(

gain something lose something ......

In life , i realise sometime we gain something , we lose something ...that is how the cycle works ? There is always a special arrangement whether to not to take the path ahead . Sometime i wonder if everything is a dream or somehow it is a facade ? Last night , I managed to reach home ...searching for ths bus stop for 190 ... and i did it , i remember brian took me there before , really glad haha facing the junction ahead , in the darkness i could only grope around n rely on the flickering street light . There is always a better tomorrow i believe ..and departure is for a better reunion ..." thank u for showing me the way .

I realised ...ganbatte akame!!!

cool right where is akame ?
I realised for the past fews day peepz I am trying to know myself better .... have i grown up ? was on da phone with a special pal last night and i felt ....i had not provide the special gesture to my family ... am i selfish... maybe it is just not time yet or supposely sometime i turn "cold" when someone treat me too good ... i am scared ...I dun deserve it ... haha .

Recently I felt like socialising but I felt something hold me back , two fren ask me out for movie today. ah liang , chang yao , in the end i rejected them . I also dun understand why ... normally i would be happily saying i also wnana to go ... your treat haha ....Guess when we talk about being happy , I felt my fren are a cheerful lot to me , ask me out also ganna scolded by me and they still dun angry at me ... i am spolit. sorry for those who had tolerate me for so long , i really must ask for your forgiveness . but i am worried i am getting " obasan " to them , sometimes i tell them , dun smoke so much , dun club or drink so much ... take a break .... and all along , i been telling them this , I am so naggy haha, can't imagine . i dun want to grow up like this .

I realised i am a guy buddy material ....sometime , probably been mixing alot with them , it is time to be my super duper guai guai girl image , chang yao also said that .... recently they said i been obessesing with taking picture of myself .... time to punch me haha, they always see my msn pic changing ... feel like killing me haha . okie , now i only stick to mr. Akame & jin , cool japanese wannaguys :P esp akame san , my dream guy ... cool cool looking ...

schedules packed ?

thursday - movie times with special pal n little bro
friday - Sakae buffet at funan , evangel's farewell dinner
sat - anyone wanan date me out
sun- outing le ... not sure ... with buddy or colleagues ? still thinking \

following wk............

friday - with gf kylie and yen :P...
Saturday - dinner with lp , catherine orchard ....:>
Sunday - Jogging with special pal:)
nureen's house :> selemat hari raya - !!!
dinner with san ba + lp ?:>