" on the route , we meet with hurdle but once crossed ... we chose our path "

If life is like a pinch of salt , so far , it had been rewarding . Society bind people in a manner that propogates our lives . was reading the news on "Tammy" and conversial issue and seriously , i just felt she is a victim of propogration by media itself , society symbol and self-contradictions .

I wonder how may time can we chose to make a decision on ourselves without consulting someone close . was on the phone with "owl" ... i guess somehow i blurt out the wrong thingsand i 'knew i shouldn't said that . Looking forward to a trip to recharge , i wanna to rest seriously hopping to take a break . hk or taiwan ? cruise ?

guess had it been better to get hitched ? life still goes on , contentment is the route to sheer happiness . i craves shopping , i craves singing , i craves for mango pudding ?be it just something simple , a small gesture , it will make my day :P i just hopes , i be more sincere toward a rlsip , yup never takes the other person for granted . Thank god , i really found HIM :P

lovereis ... love leonard :P

" Like that rubber band , it snapped when stretch to limits ...."

where had that level of understanding goes to ? sought for inner calmness ... i am okie .

28th - price n market tests - 10am to 11am LT 4.03
29th - settle Er projects , own parts - submission
30th - compilations of Er .

lst april - mum's b day
5th april - history of mgt assignment 2 , 3K words ( good luckto myself !!)
6th april - Da jie's dinner time - aunt's house
9th april - Zoo day
17th april - Pw's b day
27th april : marketing test 2.15pm to 4.30pm . grand hall

hopelessly insane for once

Yesterday was actually a nice day . marked down 26th march 2006 , 12.06 am...and i will remember what i do and said ? my frankness ourgrown me , time had prevails this time , all the unseen . i was just hopeless... when had courage come to love someone again ? this time i mean it serious . for once okie , i meet a remarkable wonderful guy who made my heart start thumping . i am hoping my lp to fall in love again :P , i just hope someone will melt that icy icy heart . i miss my fren , our times , our singlehood . Thank u moi dear lp n pw , cat , thank u for encouragin me... thank u for being there for me .. moi fren i lurve u all , i am touched esp at times lp 's message do keep an awaking for me to learn to heal , to learn to forget . Mr. Ang ...u had become part of my life ... heeeee , thank u . must piang my project and tests ... work hard , very motivated cos of him haha ... sorry i be busy , wun be meeting anyone for next two weeks .

" a penny for thoughts , a stroke of courage was all to suffice love"

schedule
-march 22th - do ER project 24th - submit MR project do the product , design , image profile + recommendation to huimin -deadline-------DONE

28th - price n market test topic 4 to 6 31st
31st march - ER group project assignement due -
5th -april - hmt assignment due ( 3000 words essay)
9th -april - zoo day :>

lovereis

tiring

recently feel so tired out that i hope for a good night rest ? can anyone offered me , projects and assignment is never ending , going to faint at anytime , two cup of coffee per day were not enough to sustain me ? haiz ... just meet lp , my dear lp ... can u take good care of yourself and of course , we need our beauty sleep regime . hey i am still part of ER meishan ... how to say ? cos mousey got no one love mah ... got my meaning * sob * sob* ... but i feel better recently , though tired i feel more optimistic about life itself . maybe someone had encouraged me ... thank u , i am glad my life had become more colourful with Him . somehow i feel probably love itself need to sustain ? probably i am just not suitable and doesn;t deserve to love anymore .

" the thumping feeling may be there but just feel i lost my courage .... and confidence "

how do i deduce that ? recuperating in my hids... i am not sad but i just shared this loneliness for this time ...just myself , my soul and me ....take care

Love itself is not rnough to sustain , it takes more than responsiblity , maintaining and passion .

soulmate is hard to find , ppl out there cherish that special someone who once held a place in your heart . love till no regrets , give your best when u r in a relationships , dun fall out just beacuse of an issue , be forgiving , be accomdating , love the person as the person itself , his everything not just superfically .... but simply just love HIM...

take care

lovereis

the silent scream

i realised i am not a good storyteller after all ... everytime i lied , i ponder... erm ... and someone will realise . if life is taken at a differ perceptive , i wish i could be a happy go lucky gal . did i .? the past had been a terrible punishment when i do my confession why my relationships failed cos i am a distorted mirror image of myself and the past hasn;t been easy . it din hinder me ? being physcially abuse , or emotionally blackmailed by a guy i used to love so much .... i feel someone is going to suffer at the same fate as me and i can;t do anything . i dun understand why ppl abuse ppl when life is fragile ... and emotionally threatened ya for years ... did i manage to overcome all these ... i think i muster alot of courage . i noted one day i bring my dairy to weiwei saying " i probably will die anytime , pls keep all these things in the envelope , if i ever die , pls pass to my parents okie ". subconsciously i knew i probbably can never make it tml . even time may had the healing effect .... gals pls note if a guy beat u , pls break up with him , cos he dun deserve u ....and thank to my foolishness , my over protection of my family , my gulity for hiding this .... i feel today i really want to blog this out cos i no longer could restainst my sanity... any longer i am going to watch history repeat . it is not as if i din tried to forgive him , i thought he will change but time prevails ... the physical and mental torture i underwent was simply i dun even realise when can i carry this burden . Till now , i dun even think he had given up this emotional blackmailed ... when he apologized ... i dun feel a thing , he owe me , my physical body seem rotten ... cos the wound , the injury tainted myself ...i simply love my family too much to tell them what happened till the day i end this ....... my mum finally found out ... yup she did went to confront him but she simply dun believe ....... my wounds had faded...finally ...the physical abuse n the hurtful words ... dun be bothered okie .. br strong .

lovereis

the spirtual feeling

been in the worst of mood then i realise ....cos i told someone about this imperfectness i been feeling gulity toward or unconsciously i blame it for any failures ... so stay positive ... gee .... was wondering if i had meet someone good nice and whatever u could say . a good fren . thank u for not looking down on me , thank u for being there to encourage ...all i could say . i think i had "override" BC ... did i ...? i received a long-distance called from uk ...brian choong fu min .... at least your gulity conscious awoke u .... never expect this call come when i am so "down" ..... is he my confidant , my punching bag or he cares? dunno lah .... but thank u anyway ...:>okie happi ... nuthing to update i be getting busier....

schedule -march
22th - do ER project
24th - submit MR project do the product , design , image profile + recommendation to huimin -deadline
28th - price n market test topic 4 to 6
31st - ER group project assignement due
5th -april - hmt assignment due
9th -april - zoo day :>

sorry i be busy again ...

truly forgiving that life is like this ....:P

lovereis ...yuen lai ... heart thumping is there ... just din realized ....

memory lapse back ?

woke up dazed with a curiosity , got a date ...? what really consitutes dating ... life was like a playback movie filled with emptiness and fragility ...was simply hilarious about life , nagging at someone else ... worrying about frens , missing a part of myself ... a sense of belonging .

A double date with ben n keat was simply amusing cos they are really fun to hang out with ...
still that little excitement only linger for a sheer moment of happiness, and i hope my dear fren did enjoyed , she din laughed much during the movie but she went crazy at toy R us ... i really concede defeat but i did enjoyed the part when ben was called an uncle, burst out laughing like mad ... that was a crude joke . but still hope he wasn; t offended .


" i am just an women standing in front of a man i love , waiting for him to love me ..." drewberrymore (the perfect catch)

this phrase caught my attention though it wasn't significant but it matters really ... not sure what to say but ... in that same threatre ... in the same setting in the reminise of a moment . the repeat ... of da same movie . A brief of moment i held my breathe sliently praying to god ... maybe after so much evoving we are still back to the square one just that ppl changed , setting changed ... i remember HE said " time will prevails what is unseen " ? i seriously feel ... life is like a lonely path , the decision u take , the route u choose ..........

sin ?

The heavens have arranged for a particularly solid energy to turn each and every word you say into a firm, grounded statement -- and that goes double for emotional subjects. Needless to say, there's no time like the present for you to call that 'state of the relationship' meeting you've been mulling over. You want to clear the air, and you're ready to do just that. Make the call. You'll feel much better afterward -- both of you will.

kind of frustrated at this moment to be called a "computer "?

other than the routine programming, was wondering about... the general term ? y....i also dunno ...

at the momeny friday got marketing test ... busy again . n hotline all down

will be free on wkend sat . sunday okie ..


sorry ... severing myself ....... no one understands ...

i am just serving a term to myself .

lovereis

yo , some good news to shares with u peeps , hopefully connection would be up by sat morning , and i really can start my msn . and just went to see the result ...HD heeeeee must work harder for next test, i know , today is my marketing test . I din really slept well , drank some coffee in the morning total is two cup damaging to my skin again . 9th april going to the zoo with pw n lp ...quite anticipating . i think i gotten to be more positive ... lp pls go SEE A DOCTOR OKIE !!!! went to see doctor yesterday and precisely the medcine he gave me this time look special and ... more expensive , a whopping 35 bucks... heng my mum subsidise me or i be a broke church mouse again ......can anyone bring me out for fine dining... and a great movie !!! haiz ... damm fat hope ... so broke this wk can be on par with lp liao. haiz manage to sleep 6 hours last night still alright though my back aches and so tiring ... the coffee din helps right ?my flu worsen n sneezing too ... hey dun curse me so much ... never been sicker and cannot play badminton cos it may aggraate my condition . i am whinning again , miss my msn pals ....rogie ? lp?haiz ...
i think i suddenly felt darn depressed i had been avoiding those places, "our places " i been into my hiding for once .... it is time to visit them again and sever my memories . i am a sentimental person , though i still very fragile ... if i had been stronger , wouldn't it be better ?

life at 21 , still rtuggling with so many deadline .exam schedule out ... AND
oke clare !!!! GAMBATTE ... thank u my fren , thank u for being there for me ... da ge ... does she like the present , hope so ?

i been really rude to anyone recently or i din reply your msg , sorry .
take care .... i need a break ... miss choco . miss mango

schedule
sat - ER project meeting 12pm
sun - lp , cat n me movie ...

i must work hard , smile , there is always tml to look forward to ...

dump away the monotonous ...

lovereis

i am just tired ....

feeling restless ... received a sms which i just dun feel like thinking

scared me ... or sorta woke me up ?

if life is prevails than at age 21 ... i am still in my own solitary again

cold , heartless no one undestands , maybe lp would ...

so worried abt her ... n i kep thinking abt certain issues

going to meet her tonight again

cos ,.,. i need a release ... we both need ...

i just feels ... relationship is not what i need

cos i no longers could feels ?

take care , thank for those who attend my celebrations ...

just wanna to escape

hey ben thank for the tee , wearing it today , it look unique :> and the bk mark n e bear :>
hey yen n ni i love that jacket n bag === adidas
hey lp ... cat and peiwei thank u for lovely cards /albums/ kiehl
hey leonard , thank for reminding me not to spend unncessary n thank for sending me home
hey ZR .. thank for the scrub and destressing candle
hey rogie ... thank for the voucher ... hee .. da ge ya are soooo nice
hey kelvin thank for making my day ... the sunflower n teddy to axx me
hey mum n bro , thank for the ang bao ....
hey wei and grace thank for coming


overall ..... feel lucky ... to have known all these ppl , it was really fun

lovereis ... love ... who ? no idea ..

If i were to say "i love ya "

Cin pressie to ping guo heeeeee

omg , silly peiwei ....wanna to beat me ?

two lovely girls ... joreen n me ...

this lamer service crew- benjamin
me .... so happy
happy 21st b day .... liping!

Glad , yesterday lp turned 21st finally , had our celebrations at mind's cafe , about 20 plus ppl turned up and it was mighty fun .

we had played quite a number of games and precisely i think what is my fav is the octupus ball :P and that waiter benjamin really funny ... and LAME ...win liao first time i dare pw do something" ask for the ivan number " hee .... she darn shy .

i was "dare" to scream I love ya ....on the balcony, is that difficuit ?

yes i think so ... cos no one to scream to , my mind was a complete blank

the last time i ever said out these words , i dunno: He "appreaciate or not

but i am afraid to do that again

confidence withdrawn , i had went back to my ... hids ...

beneath there , is nuthing by only my solitary

i think i am just tired .

lovereis ...